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I look at people who have been in relationships for 30, 40, 50 years. “There was no one thing that I would put my finger on that was the beginning of the end.I think it’s a series of things that happened—that once it started to go, there was no real salvation for it.This self-described Ragin’ Cajun from Baton Rouge, La., is currently residing in New York and devoting her energies to her fiancée, the four kids she shares custody of with O’Donnell, and her business, R Family Vacations.

We were real trailblazers in the [lesbian parenting] arena.

and Melissa, but she has always had her own unique story.

Now, for the first time, Carpenter tells that story, and lets us in on what she’s been doing since the 2007 separation from the woman who made her famous.

“I had the wherewithal to think, ‘It’s only four years of my life, and once I graduate from college I’m going to get a job, and I can just say goodbye.’ ” Certain of her sexuality, and that there was nothing aberrant about it, Carpenter was dispirited by the meetings, where she observed “an assortment of people who were sad in their lives, but it really had nothing to do with being gay.” Needless to say, Carpenter was relieved and happy when she got her degree in advertising and launched her life as an independent adult.

Attracted to the energy and pace of the advertising world, its focus on creativity and the bottom line, Carpenter began to succeed quickly, first working with an ad agency on the Pepsi-Cola account, then Kellogg’s, which led to her being hired as marketing director at Nickelodeon.

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